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More Things You Need to Be Told Table of Contents

Copyright 2003 by Lesley Carlin and Honore McDonough Ervin

Cover illustrations by Shayne Letain

Cover design by Rita Frangie

Published by The Berkley Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

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Chapter One: All Yield to the Etiquette Volvo: Your Beautiful Automobile and How to Drive It Politely

  • Selecting an Automobile: What You Should Be Driving
  • What You Should Not Be Driving
  • What Color Car?
  • Automobile Accoutrements
  • "Decorating" One's Car
  • Should I Personalize My License Plate?
  • General Principals of Driving
  • Parking
    • At Home
    • On the Street
    • In Parking Lots
  • Being Polite to Your Passengers
  • Being a Polite Passenger
  • "But Officer, I Didn't Mean to...": Interactions Avec les Gendarmes
  • Activities One May Not Engage in Whilst Driving
  • Accidents
  • Other Forms of Transportation
    • Pedestrian Etiquette
      • Pedestrians Versus Cars
    • Bicycle Etiquette
      • What You Should Wear While Riding a Bicycle
    • Scooters, Skateboards, and Inline Skates
    • Vespas
  • Questions and Answers on Various and Sundry

Chapter Two: "Where the Boys Are": Boys and Chivalric Behavior

  • The Elements of Chivalry
  • Style for Boys
  • How to Buy Beautiful Flowers
  • Charming, Yet Inexpensive Ideas for Dates
  • Dates You Shouldn't Go On
  • Questions and Answers on Various and Sundry

Chapter Three: "I'm Gonna Sit Right Down and Write Myself a Letter": Letters for All Occasions

  • Review: Supplies
  • Supplies You Do Not Need
  • The Standard Thank-You Note
  • The Horribly Belated Thank-You Note
  • The Thank-You Note for the Unwanted
  • The Thank-You Note for Money
  • The Thank-You Note for The Thing-That-You-Can't-Identify
  • The Second (Follow-Up) Thank-You Note
  • The Bread-and-Butter Letter
  • The Bread-and-Butter Letter for When You Had a Really Terrible Time
  • The Condolence Letter
  • The Condolence Note for a Young Person / Baby / Miscarriage
  • The Formal Regret to an Invitation
  • The Informal Response to an Invitation
  • "Going AWOL" (The P.P.C. Card)
  • Dear John / Jane
  • Business Letters
    • A Letter to the Management (Praise)
    • A Letter to the Management (Criticism)
    • A Letter of Inquiry (For a Job; Cold, or From an Advertisement)
    • A Letter of Introduction
    • A Letter to an Alumnus / Alumna of Your School
    • A Letter of Resignation
  • Questions and Answers on Various and Sundry

Chapter Four: That's Entertainment!

  • Hooray for Hollywood!: The Films You Need to Watch (Or at Least a Rudimentary List Thereof
  • Give Our Regards to Broadway
  • The Etiquette Grrls' Canon of Literature
  • "With a Song in My Heart": The Composers, Songwriters, Lyricists, Bands, and Singers You Should Know
    • The Classical Composers
    • The Twentieth-Century Songwriters
    • The Dance Bands
    • The Great Singers
    • Rock Around the Clock
  • Art for Art's Sake: Art History 101
  • Going Dancing
    • It Don't Mean a Thing If It Ain't Got That Swing
    • "Save Me the Waltz": Other Thoughts on Dancing
  • Television
  • Sporting Events
    • Sports That the Etiquette Grrls Rather Like (And Actually Play Themselves)
  • Questions and Answers on Various and Sundry

Chapter Five: It's Money, Baby!

  • How Much Cash Should You Carry?
  • The New Fifties, Twenties, Tens, and Fives
  • Which Credit Card You Should Have
  • Visiting the ATM
  • How to Carry Your Cash
    • Flaunting One's Wealth
    • Noblesse Oblige
  • Tipping
    • Restaurants
    • Bars
    • Salons
    • Movers
    • Deliveries
    • Cabs
    • Porters
    • Hotels
    • People In and Around Your Apartment Building
    • The Postman
    • Other People You Don't Tip
  • Questions and Answers on Various and Sundry

Chapter Six: Gifts and Greediness

  • Thank Heavens for Tiffany's Catalogue!: The Gifts You Should Be Giving
  • Occasions That Do and Do Not Merit a Gift
    • Your Best Friend's Birthday
    • Christmas / Hanukkah / Kwanzaa / The Winter Solstice
    • Weddings
    • Gifts for Other Wedding-Related Events
    • Baby Gifts
    • Housewarming Gifts
    • When You Are a Guest at a Dinner Party
    • Anniversary Gifts
    • Gifts for Children
    • Just a Reminder—You Get a Gift, You Write a Damn Thank-You Note
    • Hostess Gifts
    • "Regifting"
    • No, You May Not "Register" at Sephora for Your Twenty-First Birthday
    • No, You May Not Ask for Money In Lieu of Gifts
    • No, You May Not Ask Guests to Pay for Their Own Meals If You're Throwing a Party at a Restaurant

Chapter Seven: Miscellaneous Matters of Importance Redux

  • How to Eat an Artichoke
  • The Etiquette Grrls' Favorite Party Themes
  • When May I Chew Gum?
  • The Etiquette Grrls' Rules to Live By
  • "I Am AWOL Because..."
  • The Official List of the Etiquette Grrls' Likes and Dislikes
  • Movement
  • The Etiquette Grrls Are Ready for Their Close-Up: Posing for Photographs
    • Things You Should Never, Ever Pose Avec
  • Goth Etiquette
  • Your Personal Appearance: An Update
  • Sex and the City Is Not Something to Emulate
  • Adieu, Burberry!
  • Seasonal Clothing Issues
  • Update on Electronic Etiquette
    • Instant Messenger
    • Webpages
    • Using the Web
    • The Facsimile ("Fax") Machine
    • Cell ’Phones, Part Deux
    • Quit It, For God's Sake, With the Dumbass Ringer Noises
    • Video Games
  • Rude Questions
  • Forgetting Someone's Name
  • Guests Who Bring Along Guests of Their Own
    • People Who Don't R.S.V.P.
    • How to Apologize
    • Little White Lies
  • Your Small Pet
    • Which Pet?
    • The Very Stylish Pet
    • The Well-Behaved Pet
    • How to Behave Correctly Around Someone Else's Pet (Particularly If You Don't Like It)
    • How to Be a Polite Pet Owner

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