Some Smashing Halloween Costumes

It's Almost Halloween, and the EGs have been Absolutely Deluged avec requests from Our Dear Readers about What Costumes They Should Wear! Herewith, a short list of EG-Approved Ideas:

A Burberry Overdose. Go to the Kiosk in the Mall that sells all the Fake Burberry Stuff, or, better yet, hit up Friends Who Love Burberry Too Much, and see how many items of clothing in the Signature Plaid you can wear at One Time. Extra Points if you Dress Up a Small Pet, too.

A Famous Literary Character. Hester Prynne, Holden Caulfield (the EGs have to give Mad Props to a Grad-School Colleague of EGL's for actually Pulling That One Off), Keats' Lamia, etc.

Early-1980's Prep. Model your outfit after one of the line-drawings in The Preppy Handbook.

A Rebellious Teenager Who Is Actually Not Rebellious Enough to Stop Shopping at the Mall. Visit all the stores you'd normally Never Be Caught Dead In. Buy something atrocious on sale. Be liberal with the Body Glitter. Look Disaffected.

A Bad Spoken-Word Poet. Wear black. Drink cheap red wine. Respond to all inquiries by reading a few nonsensical lines from a piece of paper you carry with you:

"How are you, Shelby?" "My soul festers / like nougat."
"Huh?" "Save yourself, my pumpkinhead."
"Is this supposed to be your costume?" "I'm writhing, I'm writhing, I'm writhing / ROBERT SMITH, STOP CONTROLLING MY DREAMS!"

Something from Tiffany's. Dress entirely in light blue. Tie a white ribbon around yourself.

A Gin-Mad Flapper. Perfect for a Swanky Halloween Party, where you can wear a Vintage Flapper Dress and not have some idiot spray you with Silly String. Carry around a Bottle of Bombay Sapphire, and only share with People You Like.

The EGs. Wear vintage shift dresses, pearls, and very pointy slingbacks, and give any Rude People you encounter a Smack in the Head avec a Copy of TYNTBT.