The Etiquette Grrls' Q & A Archive: January
2003
Dear Etiquette Grrls,
Christmas Day I hosted the family party. It is
our practice to buy gifts for the children only. My brother's daughters,
who are married with children, gave gifts to my children and I gave
gifts to their children. My sister's daughters, who are married
with children, did not give my children any gifts this year, but
had previous years. I gave their children gifts. These two nieces
gave gifts to every child at the party except mine. All the other
adults brought gift for all (5) of the children attending the party.
I feel very hurt that my two nieces overlooked my children. My children
are twelve and fourteen years old and my grandnieces are ages six
and under. We never discussed an age cutoff for gift giving.
I sent an e-mail to one of my nieces asking if
perhaps she might have given a gift that was misplaced as the gift
opening was a "free for all" and I truly thought something
got lost. I never received a response from her. Did my nieces lack
social grace?
J.
Dear Etiquette Grrls, At our family Christmas
parties all the adults give gifts to the children. I brought gifts
for all the children there ages 6 and under but this year but I
decided not to give to my aunt's children who are 12 and 14 as I
thought there has to be an age cut off somewhere. I did not mention
my new policy to my aunt. My sister also decided not to give our
cousins gifts; however her children did receive gifts from their
grandaunt. (I don't have children as I am still looking for that
perfect husband.) I did notice my sister and I were the only adults
at the party that did not give gifts to these two cousins. I got
an e-mail from my aunt asking if perhaps my gifts were misplaced.
I ignored it. Because my aunt left me an e-mail I discussed this
with a couple of close friends and they thought I was wrong to not
give gifts to my cousins especially when my aunt was hosting the
party. My aunt and I were developing a nice relationship through
e-mail and now we haven't exchanged any since. Now I am wondering,
perhaps I committed a faux pas? Please advise me as to what I should
do, if anything.
Wondering Niece
Dear J. and Wondering Niece,
Wow. The EGs don't often hear from Opposing Parties!
Perhaps we should let Our Dear Readers have it out more often here!
It would be kind of like Jerry Springer, but with Smarter Guests
and Delicious Hors d'Oeuvres! We can see the Stickley Chairs flying!
Tee hee!
Dear Readers-- yes, we think Wondering Niece was
In The Wrong Here. Many families decide that at some point, an Age
Cutoff becomes necessary for Christmas Gift Exchanges. But usually,
when this is done, it's something the family discusses, and everyone
is aware of it. We think the issue is not so much that Wondering
Niece and one of her sisters decided to have an Age Cutoff, but
that there was no Advance Discussion of this, and the 12- and 14-year-olds
were probably Rather Confused at the Christmas Party. And, Wondering
Niece, we're not trying to be Unduly Harsh here, but your aunt's
e-mail was probably a good chance for you to explain why you didn't
bring gifts (even though, at this late date, that would still have
been Less Than Ideal-- but at least you could have Explained Yourself
and Apologized for the lack of Advance Discussion). It wasn't good
to ignore it. Wondering Niece-- you need to call your aunt and Make
Peace. And J., please see from this that your niece is beginning
to realize this wasn't the Best Approach to Take-- which is Important.
So, c'mon, you two, have a Long Talk, and Make Amends. You will
both feel Much Better.
Cheers,
The Etiquette Grrls
P.S. May we just say, when we first read J's question,
we thought we were in for a Logic Problem with all the ages and
relationships! We were having GRE Flashbacks! (Not that the EGs
disliked the Logic Problem section of the GREs. We loved that section!
We lived for that section! We hear it's been discontinued in favor
of some sort of Handwritten Essay-- Quel, Quel Dommage!)
Dear Etiquette Grrls,
First, I would like to take a moment to thank
you for your wonderful site. It is definitely one of the things
that keeps my sanity intact and my sense of humor in good form.
I think you are wonderful.
I will be getting married in a few months and
a certain person has me very confused. Initially, she invited herself
into my wedding party, and since I did not wish to hurt her feelings
or cause a possible rift in our friendship I simply included her
in the bridal party plans. This bridesmaid promptly dropped out
of my wedding a month later, indicating that she had other things
to spend her money on. A few weeks later she stated she would make
the time for my wedding and would be a bridesmaid again. About six
months later, she dropped out of the wedding again with a very rude
e-mail rather than speaking with me in person. Alarmed, I asked
my other bridesmaids if I have been an overly demanding bride or
done something that would deserve such behavior. My other bridesmaids
and maid of honor have all assured me that I have been considerate
and anything but demanding, and that they are having a wonderful
time participating.
Now, this person has been asking about my wedding
plans again and going on and on about the wedding she is planning
for herself. The source of my confusion, aside from her blunt requests
for how much I will be spending on each detail of my wedding, is
that she has been happily married for four years. I think she is
referring to a renewal of vows, but she specifically refers to it
as a wedding.
How do I fend off her questions about the money
I am spending and hints about rejoining the bridal party again?
And how do I avoid conversations about her wedding or renewal of
vows, or whatever it might be? I do not wish to be rude or argumentative,
but I am both confused and reluctant to go through all of this again.
A Very Confused Bride
Dear Very Confused Bride,
The on-again, off-again Bridesmaid Friend sounds
like she's Psycho, in Our Expert Opinion. A few observations:
1) One does not invite oneself into a Wedding
Party. If one is not Asked, one Deals With It like a Big Girl. (Corollary:
If one is a Bride-to-Be, and someone tries to invite herself into
your Wedding Party, you're better off Saying No. It will save you
a Lot of Grief.)
2) One does not Drop Out of a Wedding Party unless
one has a Very, Very, VERY Good Reason.
3) If one should have to Drop Out of a Wedding
Party, one does not invite oneself back into the Wedding Party if
one has a Change of Heart.
4) One does not ask a Bride how much the wedding
is going to cost.
5) For that matter, one does not ask ANYONE how
much ANYTHING costs. People who are Nosy About Money can See Us
In Hell!
6) When one has been married for Only Four Years,
one is Not Allowed to Renew One's Vows. Period. It's one thing if
a Sweet Older Couple wishes to do so on their Fiftieth or Sixtieth
Anniversary, and to have a Small Celebration afterwards for their
Family and Friends, but after FOUR YEARS? No. Not Permissible. (Need
you ask what the EGs think about Certain Pop Stars renewing their
vows after just TWO YEARS of Marriage?! Not Permissible! Please,
InStyle magazine, do not encourage This Sort of Thing!)
Dear Reader, honestly, isn't it time to Be Rid
of This Friend? If she's acting this horrible, and has put you through
This Much Already, we say it's time to be Perpetually Busy. (After
all, if you're planning Your Wedding, you probably are Perpetually
Busy.) Of course, if you're somewhere and you can't avoid her, you
can Fend Off her Nosy Inquiries: "Oh, it's so tiresome to talk
about Money" (repeat Ad Nauseam). And you can Change the Subject,
or take the opportunity to Go Get a Fresh Drink, if she won't shut
up about this Pseudo-Wedding if you're both at a Cocktail Party.
But really, we think the best step would be to Minimize Contact
With Her.
Best wishes,
The Etiquette Grrls
P.S. Thank you for saying such nice things about
Our Site! We appreciate them so much.
Dear Etiquette Grrls,
First of all, congratulations on your book. I
loved it!
My question is about thank you notes. I overheard
someone mention that it is crass to use notes that are decorated
with "thank you" on the front of them and are blank for
one to fill in on the inside. Is this true? I am a stickler about
writing thank-yous for any gifts received and admit I have used
this style of card. Have I been wrong all this time? I would love
to hear your comments on this matter.
Thanks!
N.
Dear N.,
We're glad you liked TYNTBT! In answer to your
question: First of all, make no mistake, if the choice is between
a Thank-You Note written on a card that says "Thank You"
on the front and No Thank-You Note At All, the card that says "Thank
You" on the front wins. However, the EGs are Traditionalists,
and we think that a thank-you note on a Plain Notecard just Looks
More Appropriate. After all, your own words of thanks IN the note
should make it Perfectly Clear that the Note is, In Fact, a Note
of Thanks.
Sincerely yours,
The Etiquette Grrls
Dear Etiquette Grrls,
I came home yesterday and had just put my bag
down. My niece (age 8) walks by without a greeting and tells me
that I have to give her $10 for a school contest for which her mother
(my sister) signed me up as a sponsor. I was shocked and told her
gently that her mother never asked me to sponsor her for anything.
Her reply was that it was "too late" and that at least
I wasn't as bad as her Grandpa, who "owed" $12. My brother
"owes" something too. What do you think of this? Are we
under any obligation? I would have sponsored her if they had asked
first, but now that they had a definite pledge and a dollar amount,
I feel that this is just wrong.
How would you guys handle this one?
Thanks so much!
Ling
Dear Ling,
Well, first we'd probably Faint; then we'd probably
need a few Restorative Drinks and a Weekend at a Spa to get over
it.
But after all of that, we'd Have a Word with Your
Sister. And of course we wouldn't Fork Over the Cash. It's absolutely
wrong to "Sign Up" someone to sponsor anyone for anything
without Asking Them First! It's too bad if this leaves your sister
(or her Rude Little Girl) with Egg On Her Face at school, but Tough
Cookies. We think Grandpa and Your Brother should do the same.
Yours truly,
The Etiquette Grrls
Dear Etiquette Grrls,
I am in a dilemma! I have been given the honor
of working with a professor in my department on his newest research,
and honor which is rarely accorded to poor undergraduates. However,
I have been invited to lunch with him and several other professors
to discuss this project. I am quite terrified of the prospect, as
Professor #1 is known as the university's culinary artiste. Please
give me some guidance in this situation!
Thanks ever,
Rebecca
Dear Rebecca,
Ne fret pas! It will all be fine! You should be
very proud to be included-- just bring your Best Table Manners,
be willing to Try any New and Different Foods you may encounter,
Relax, and enjoy yourself!
Very truly yours,
The Etiquette Grrls
Dear Ladies,
I must attend an outdoor wedding in April, and
I hate wearing frou-frou dresses and lace. I am also not big on
color. I recently bought a little black dress and would like to
know: is this is appropriate to wear at such an event?
Thanks,
Rebeca
Dear Rebeca,
The EGs have always maintained that Black is Inappropriate
for Weddings. And Dear Reader, the EGs LOVE black, especially Little
Black Dresses (L.B.D.s). However, a wedding is a Happy Occasion,
and a black dress just doesn't jibe with that. Black is a color
usually associated with Rather Solemn Social Occasions, such as
Funerals. (This is not to say anyone is allowed to prance into a
Funeral wearing a Sleek L.B.D. Good God, no. It's not a Cocktail
Party. This is what Black Suits Are For.) However, by no means do
you need to run out and buy some Hideously Bright Hot-Pink Ensemble!
What about Periwinkle Blue in a matte-finish fabric? It's subtle
and flatters nearly everyone. Or a lovely Pale Dove Grey? Spring
Clothes are arriving in the shops even now (despite the fact that
in New England, it is Disgustingly Cold Out)... you have plenty
of time before April to find the Perfect Outfit! (We would also
recommend getting some sort of Little Jacket, or Wrap, to go with
whatever you wear. An Outdoor Wedding in April can be Un Peu Chilly
in most parts of the country!)
Very truly yours,
The Etiquette Grrls
Dear Etiquette Grrls,
I received an odd gift of indoor soccer shoes
from a rather persistent guy friend. I have been very clear with
him that I am not interested in a relationship, but he won't really
let up. He hasn't mentioned anything about being more than friends
lately, but for Christmas he gave me a pair of shoes. Should I keep
them? I actually could use them... but I don't want to give him
the wrong idea... or make him feel that the gift will eventually
land him a date.
Not Looking for a Beau
Dear Not Looking for a Beau,
Well, naturally, who couldn't use a pair of Indoor
Soccer Shoes? The Etiquette Grrls are always remarking how ours
Wear Out So Fast! We could use some new Skateboard Wheels, come
to think of it. And some Snowboarding Gear, and Bike Helmets. Tee
hee!
We think you could safely Go Ahead and Keep the
shoes... we'd be more worried he was interested in a Relationship
if he gave you, say, a Swell Little Bauble in a Pretty Blue Box,
but this sounds Rather Innocuous (albeit, as you say, Odd). And
at this point, if you've kept them since Christmas, it might be
Un Peu Odd to send them back to him. We'd simply send a thank-you
note (holding back on any sort of gushing, of course, and perhaps
making a pointed reference like, "I really appreciate your
friendship, Basil").
Cheers,
The Etiquette Grrls
Dear Etiquette Grrls,
My sister-in-law recently requested the receipts
for two Christmas gifts our family gave her twin 12-year-old girls.
She states that the pocketbooks are too small for the girls to use
at school where they are only allowed pouches to carry their belongings.
I personally selected the pocketbooks for them to use whenever,
not specifically for school. How should I respond?
Miffed Auntie
Dear Miffed Auntie,
Well, that depends upon How Much Fuss You Want
To Cause. Fuss is not always A Bad Thing, but since the EGs don't
know Your Family, you'll have to make that call. You have two options:
You could decide simply to Hand Over the Receipts-- perhaps without
comment, or with a slightly snippy note: "Here you go. I hope
the girls have as much fun shopping for Replacements as I did picking
out these handbags especially for them." Or, you could Withhold
the Receipts: "I'm so sorry, but I don't have the receipts...
I'm sorry that the girls cannot use them at school, but I do hope
they'll come in handy for Other Occasions." It is true that
many Schools These Days have regulations about what sorts of Bags
students may carry, so we don't think she's Just Making That Up,
but we agree with you, they must be able to use them Somewhere.
They're Handbags-- it's not as if they Don't Fit!
Which brings the EGs to a subject we think is
Very Important. Young People need to learn that Some Gifts are just
Not Going to Be Useful, or Exactly What They Would Have Chosen for
Themselves-- and no matter what you think of something, you Must
Write a Nice Thank-you Note. If you want to return it or exchange
it, you do so All On Your Own, without having Your Mother Call Up
the Person who Gave It To You Demanding the Receipt! And you keep
Silent As the Grave about it! If it's something you Can't Return,
for whatever reason, you must learn to Deal With This! **Sigh**
All we can say, Dear Reader, is that at least Your Nieces didn't
Register for Christmas Gifts at Abercrombie and Fitch... this year...
Yours sincerely,
The Etiquette Grrls
Dear Etiquette Grrls,
First off, bravo, and thank you for your dedication
to sharing the values that my sisters, husband, friends, and I hold
so dear. I stumbled upon your site just yesterday, quite luckily,
as I have a question regarding how much a young lady should, and
should not reveal, regarding the most intimate (and unconventional)
decisions she and her husband have agreed upon.
Until recently my wonderful husband of one year
(and friend of many years) and I enjoyed dressing in smart suits
together in the morning, working hard all day, and showing up after
the workday together at our favorite watering hole for (REAL) martinis.
We rarely cooked at home, save for the evenings that we threw shindigs
that went down in history. We became well known "perfect couple",
with our classic style, our sweet cottage, our ski haus in Vermont,
and our adorable "EV' as well as my darling little convertible.
None of these were EVER as important to us, as a couple, as one
another's happiness.
Three weeks ago, with no prior warning, my husband
was laid off along with a number of coworkers. We are both 29 years
old and are by no means upset, as we know that this type of thing
happens all over our Great Nation every day.
We are in no danger of jeopardizing the ownership
of any of our material positions, if we must survive on my salary
alone. Of course do plan to eventually return to our previous way
of life in order to continue to work towards our long-term goals.
I have come, however, to love our current arrangement.
My sweet husband has been able to make some lovely improvements
to our home, help our neighbors with theirs, and spend more time
with my beloved horse and our sweet birds. In addition, every day
I come home to a warm dinner on a beautifully set table, a chilled,(real)
martini, and a beautiful bouquet of fresh flowers. I also feel that,
since my husband has worked so hard since he was a very young boy,
he deserves a little time off.
My quandary is this: Our families and most of
our friends are not the types to accept this arrangement, albeit
temporary, as acceptable, as he is "the man" of the house.
Now, well-meaning friends and family are beginning to question me
on my husband's occupational status, even going as far as offering
connections. They must wonder why he has not found gainful employment
immediately, since he was quite successful previously.
I am eager to find a way to tactfully explain,
without making my husband sound as if he is a dead-beat, that we
are in no great rush for him to become re-employed immediately.
I do not want to come off as domineering or militantly feminist,
as these are qualities that neither I nor my friends or family admire.
Neither do I desire for these same well-intended friends or family
to deny us similar regards once we decide that my dear husband's
well deserved, and productive, vacation should end.
Sincere Thanks,
K.
Dear K.,
You sound Very Happy Indeed, and we only have
this to say: Your Husband's Occupational Status is Absolutely NOBODY
else's business. We suggest you respond, "Oh, everything is
completely fine-- haven't I told you already how happy we are? Things
are Just Peachy." Deflect, Deflect, Deflect. You don't owe
anyone an explanation. After all, there are Plenty of Reasons why
someone may be Sans Job. He may have received a Tidy Little Severance
Package that would be cut off if he were to seek New Employment--
that's a Swell Arrangement, and why would anyone want to Jeopardize
It? He may have inherited a Fortune from a Distant Relative; he
may simply be Taking Some Time to Write a Novel, or have a Sabbatical,
or just Escape the Rat Race for a Time. We think that the more you
tell people that really, things are TRULY FINE, and the more they
see how Happy You Are with this arrangement, they'll Get the Picture.
Best wishes,
The Etiquette Grrls
Dear Etiquette Grrls,
When and where is the proper place to reapply
lipstick when dining out?
Brina
Dear Brina,
In the Powder Room, and only in the Powder Room.
Cheers,
The Etiquette Grrls
Dear Etiquette Grrls,
When dining out in NYC, I of course place my napkin
on my lap as soon as I sit down. The problem is, with foods such
as red-sauce Italian entrees, I often need to wipe my mouth. Is
it acceptable to remove the napkin from my lap, wipe my mouth, then
replace it in my lap? (Un peu problematic if said napkin already
contains crumbs from the foccacia placed on the table before the
meal begins.) It seems infinitely better than wiping my mouth with
the back of my hands in front of my dining companions, n'est pas?
But I am not entirely sure the former behavior is entirely correct.
When eating at home, I am the type that places a napkin (paper)on
her lap, PLUS, reserves an extra few napkins for the mouth wiping
(occasional) shirt wiping, etc., to my side. Is it rude to ask a
member of the waitstaff for an additional napkin or two in order
to remedy this problem?
Thanks for any help you may be able to give!
K. in Stamford
Dear K.,
Oh, Dear Reader. You should only have one (1)
napkin at Any Given Time, and it should remain On Your Lap throughout
the meal, except (of course) when you are using it to Wipe Your
Mouth. When you have finished Wiping Your Mouth, you must discreetly
return the napkin to Your Lap. Never, ever, EVER Wipe Your Mouth
avec the Back of Your Hands! That's what the napkin is There For,
Dear Reader! And while eating Italian Entrees with Red Sauce can
be Un Peu Messy, it becomes ever so much easier with practice. At
home, you can learn to Twirl the Pasta a few strands at a time so
that it doesn't Drip At All! Or order something like Penne, which
is much easier to handle than, say, Linguini. And finally, if you
sit down at the table and find your napkin has Crumbs in it Already
from the Focaccia, simply ask Your Waiter for a New One! Easy as
1-2-3!
All best,
The Etiquette Grrls
Dear Etiquette Grrls,
We must start by saying that we absolutely adore
both your website and your book. We think that you are Simply Marvelous
and we strive to be like you! We are looking forward to reading
your new book!!
Here is our petit problem:
We are both sixteen and are going through the
process of Driver's Education. The classroom lessons were not too
bad, but it is the road lessons that are getting to us. The instructors
are terribly rude, and the cars are a mess. We are paying $33 an
hour, so shouldn't we be driving for the full hour? These instructors
have us make at least one stop for coffee or food during the lesson.
It seems to us as if we are paying them to let us park in a Dunkin'
Donuts parking lot! As we mentioned earlier, the cars are a mess.
We both recently received our first Kate Spade handbags (we both
have "Claire") and we would like to keep them assez clean.
However, we have found this impossible to do as the cars are covered
in crumbs and dirt and we are forced to keep them on the floor in
the back of the car. Would it be THOR for us to bring something
to keep our bags on, and also, is it out of line to ask the instructor
to actually let us drive? Please help us!
Thank you very much for taking the time to read
our question, and we wish you both a happy New Year.
Sincerely,
Caroline and Kate
Dear Caroline and Kate,
Good Heavens!!! You've given the EGs a Horrible
Flashback to Our Own Experiences in Driver's Ed-- Why, God, Why
must it be So Bad? Both EGs spent Every Single Lesson going through
Drive-Throughs, stopping for the Instructor to buy Cigarettes and
Lottery Tickets, and sitting Alone in the Car, Twiddling Our Thumbs,
while the Instructor dropped off a McDonald's Extra-Value Meal for
Her Mother. The Classroom Lessons, at least, had Amusingly Old Movies
at times, but for the most part, it was a Dreadful, Dreadful Experience.
Here are Some Tips:
1) First, you're paying for these lessons. Or
perhaps Your Parents Are. In either case, you deserve to get Your
Money's Worth. We suggest you tell Your Parents what's going on,
and see if they'll Have a Word avec the Director of the Driving
School. It might only get you switched to a Different Instructor,
who might be Equally Bad (which is exactly what happened to EGL),
but at least you'll feel you're Letting the Boss Know what a Shoddy
Operation It Is.
2) Definitely bring something to put Your Handbags
on. Heck, bring something for yourself to sit on!
3) If it doesn't get any better, we have an Excellent
Suggestion for Recourse. It won't improve your Driving Lessons,
but we guarantee you'll feel better. You need to take Detailed Notes
about Exactly How Awful these lessons are. While one of you is driving,
the other one can Write. Example: "10:00. Waiting to be Picked
Up. Instructor is late. AGAIN. 10:05. La-di-da, isn't it good that
we pay $33 an hour for this? 10:10. Instructor finally here. Car
looks as if it hasn't been washed since the Year of Its Manufacture
(circa 1979). Front seat littered avec two (2) reeking, greasy KFC
buckets. Mysterious dripping stain on Ceiling-- don't want to sit
under that! 10:11. Kate driving. Although she asked if she could
practice Three-Point Turns, Instructor says no, not until we stop
by the ATM and the Convenience Store. 10:15. Instructor at ATM.
Cld. Easily Steal Car. Realize would not WANT car in a Million Years.
Open Windows while Instructor Gone to Air Out Fried Chicken Stench.
Etc., etc., etc." Then, Dear Readers, take Your Copious Notes
and develop an article for Your School Newspaper, or better yet,
Your Local Newspaper, about How Atrocious Driver's Ed is, especially
at the ABC Driving School. Publish it. Revel in the knowledge that
you've at least prevented Lots of Others from having to Suffer Through
the Same Experience.
Good luck, Dear Readers!
Sincerely yours,
The Etiquette Grrls
Dear Etiquette Grrls,
When I interviewed for my job, the boss mentioned
that there would (not might) be a year-end bonus... Now the new
year has started - should I mention it? I interviewed in September
and now it is January.
Bonusless
Dear Bonusless,
Before you do ANYTHING, make some Discreet Inquiries.
Has anyone else mentioned the Bonus Program? Are you sure that by
"Year-End" Your Boss meant the End of the Calendar Year
and not the End of the Fiscal Year? Or the One-Year Anniversary
of Your Hiring? You definitely want to be Cautious With This, Dear
Reader. Also, peruse Your Contract-- is there anything about Bonuses
in There? If not, then we hate to say it, but you might not actually
be Getting a Bonus. If times are tough at a company, the Bonuses
are usually the First Thing to Go. Even if your contract doesn't
say anything about Bonuses, you also, of course, have the option
of reminding Your Boss of your conversation and asking what's up
with them, but make sure you've listened to everything in the Office
Grapevine before you approach Your Boss. (Maybe the folks who've
been there longer will simply Give You the Scoop.) If several people
have similar concerns, you'll stand out less for asking. Try something
like, "At lunch the other day, a few of us were talking about
the company and the subject of Bonuses came up. We all remembered
hearing about them when we interviewed, but no one knew if they
were tied to Our Profit, or something else like Our Department's
Performance... Or even when they might be given. I was wondering
if you could fill me in?" Better yet, if your company has an
HR department, you could ask them to clarify things without looking
as if you're Pestering Your Boss for More Money, which is, in a
nutshell, the Impression You Do NOT Want to Make.
Good luck, Dear Reader!
Yours very sincerely,
The Etiquette Grrls
Dear Etiquette Grrls,
I'm holding a baby shower for my daughter and
son-in-law. They want to include on the invitation, "Adults
Only," and it just feels wrong to add that line. First, I think
only adults would attend because the invitation would be addressed
to them, not to their children. Secondly, I would think people have
the sense not to bring their children. This is the sticking point:
my daughter and son-in-law believe there are guests who WOULD bring
their children. Help! And thank you very much for any assistance
you can provide.
Joann
Dear Joann,
You'd think only adults would attend because the
invitation had been addressed only to them, and it should be like
that, but sadly, there may be Some Idiot who thinks Their Kids Deserve
to Go With Them Everywhere, even to Formal Events Like Weddings,
Obviously Adult-Only Events Like Cocktail Parties, etc. THIS MUST
BE STOPPED! Parents: We're sure your kids are Darling and Adorable.
However, you must face the fact that THERE ARE SITUATIONS WHERE
THEY DO NOT BELONG, and that sometimes, people throwing a party
really DON'T want Children Underfoot, even if they're NOT Screaming,
or Breaking Things, or Whining.
So, what can you do? Chances are you Already Have
Some People In Mind who will want to Bring Their Kids. If that's
the case, put a little note in just their invitations: "We
hope you can join us, but we wanted to let you know we're keeping
the guest list to adults only, so you'd have plenty of time to find
someone to watch Darling Little Damian."
Good luck,
The Etiquette Grrls
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